Ways to Build Self Esteem


“Wow, Grace. That was such a good presentation you gave our team. You are so full of great ideas.” Kemi complimented her colleague who was also a good friend.

“Really? Thanks.”

“Yes. You must have had some experience before now. I don’t think you know how smart you are. Trust me, I’m not trying to flatter you, it’s a compliment and I’m really impressed. You’ll need to give me a few pointers sometime.”

“I appreciate it, Kemi. I don’t know what to say. I was so nervous, I didn’t feel well prepared. I was so scared our boss would look at me and fire me. I appreciate your kind words.”

“You’re welcome. I’m sure you are used to hearing that a lot.”

“Honestly, no. Your compliment is actually the first I’ve had in a really long time. I’m not used to people complimenting me or recognizing my effort. I don’t really think I actually do such a great job because no one says anything to me. I didn’t grow up like that. At home, my parents usually talked more about my failures and inabilities than about any effort or progress I made. “


Many people have had their confidence crushed because of their upbringing or certain circumstances. We have often compared ourselves to others than embrace our individuality. God has made us unique so we shouldn’t try to blend in. We all have shortcomings and differences but we should not allow them to weigh us down.

Be you because everyone else is already taken.

Here are a few ways to build your self-esteem.

  1. Good Hygiene

A quick way to improve how you feel is to have good hygiene. Take time to look presentable and neat. When you look good, you will feel better about yourself. Practice good hygiene. It’s not about designer clothes because fashion comes and goes. Simply taking care of yourself is a major boost to self-esteem.

  1. Wear a smile

A smile can change a lot of things. If you smile at someone, they will subconsciously smile in return or respond in a decent manner. Smiling at someone makes you welcoming and approachable. Give a smile to someone in a bad mood and see the person feel better. As you go about your day, wear a smile to boost your confidence. When you don’t know what to say, smile. Smiling makes you happier and more confident. Try smiling to yourself the first thing in the morning when you wake up and see how it automatically boosts your mood for the day.

  1. Make Eye Contact

When you interact with others, look them in the eye. Smiling and eye contact go together. Making eye contact shows that you are trustworthy and confident. It may not be easy, especially if it’s something you are not used to. Eye contact is important. Look at it this way, what is the worst that can happen when you look someone in the eye? Maybe a staring competition. You may have heard that the eyes are the window to the soul. Looking someone in the eye will help you connect better with them and you will be sure they are paying attention to you.

  1. Play to Your Strength

We all have various capabilities. The fact that you can’t play soccer or you aren’t a good speaker is nothing to be embarrassed about. There is something you can do relatively well or even better than others. Lean into that unashamedly. Discover and know your strengths, then lean into them. When you know you are able to do something well, you will give your self-esteem a boost. Seek to do more things in the areas of your strength and strive to be more competent.

  1. Put in Your Best Always

Wherever you may find yourself, do your best. Give the task a hundred percent. This gives you a boost of self-esteem because you know you couldn’t have done better. It also builds a reputation for you. People are able to trust that you will do a good job. You will realize that you’re constantly improving regardless of wherever you find yourself. What a great way to build your self-esteem.

  1. Accept your imperfections

There will always be someone smarter, someone better looking, someone more wealthy and that is ok. Why not just embrace who you are and live life boldly. The only person you are in competition with is yourself. Nobody has ever been perfect and nobody ever will be. All you need to do is daily improve on yourself. You are not in a race with anyone. Wherever you are is ok as long as you are willing to constantly improve without the pressure of certain standards. Successful people constantly improve.

  1. Don’t seek approval

The earlier you realize that not everyone will approve of you, the better. You can’t please everyone and that is ok. Don’t seek validation from others. This will free you from the need to impress people or be bothered about what they think. Be authentic. Be you. Embrace the things you love. Whether it’s running, singing, drawing, or whatever. Do them and be free to express yourself. Stop caring whether people will think of you as strange. You are unique. Don’t be afraid to be yourself.

8. Give compliments and Take Compliments

Say something kind to someone every day. Not only will this make you feel good, but you would also have brightened someone else’s day. You may just be the person to boost someone else’s confidence.

It’s ok to also take compliments. When your friend genuinely says you did a good job, or you look nice, say thank you. It’s ok. Allow yourself to be appreciated or complimented. You deserve it.

The Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Remember God made you special. He loves to see you live the life He has given you the way only you can do. So be unrepentantly bold about who God has made you be.


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